(Photo Credit: Zoltan Tasi)
Meditation has been in my life longer than I realize… about 20 years. But I never necessarily had the complete context for what it was actually doing to my brain. I knew the practice, the variations of the practice, the personal benefits, and the general idea.
I’d sum up my personal experience with meditation as the following:
(1) get increasingly curious, ask friends about their experiences (10 years)
(2) feel more committed to trying it, do some research and ask for recos ( a year or two)
(3) casually try out different techniques at various workshops to see which fit best for me (about 2-3 years)
(4) settle on a technique out of the ones I learn and trying to do that for awhile (6 months)
(5) Enjoy the benefits but then stop practicing consistently. Start and stop a lot when I’m reminded or when I need it as a tool for a specific circumstance. (The rest of the time)
This is all well and good. No matter how much or how little I meditate, it still has benefits. However, I wonder what happens when I really let the effects of this practice build and accumulate. When it stacks and becomes a stronger neural pathway in my mind… what happens then?
One thought that I’ve had recently is that I need to learn how to give my brain regular breaks. It does a loooot of work for me and I’m treating it like how corporate America treats its employees— giving it only two weeks of vacation a year, if that.
Also, after my fall class, where I picked up meditation again after logging it as a “5-ranked” activity in my weekly repertoire, the practice now held a deeper meaning that is more aligned with my purpose as a human being existing on this planet. My commitment is much greater as a result.
I’ve now sat consistently for almost 3 months. This month I’ve sat semi-regularly two times a day for about half the month. I’ve completed an intensive Beginner’s Meditation Workshop and now sit once a month in an Advanced Meditator’s Workshop. Let me tell you what I’ve learned so far…
Meditation is a Jedi Mind Trick.
I’m convinced this is true. It’s so much more than sleeping better or preventing heart disease. Those are great personal benefits, sure, but I’m understanding it more as a totally underrated superpower.
First, let’s talk about naming underlying narrative.
I follow my instructor’s guided meditation and, during it, he consistently turns our attention to observing how we might be feeling in the moment underneath it all. Are we sad, tired, distracted, hyper, frustrated, calm? We simply name it, observe it, and remind ourselves that nothing is wrong with how we’re feeling. We hold ourselves as we experience the feeling and do nothing else. We don’t fix it, suppress it, or identify with it. It’s just there.
That practice in itself which is only about a minute or two sums up about 10 years of my work in therapy. But it’s simply practiced daily for only a minute at a time. Carrying this practice into my regular life makes me a better person. One who is more aware of how they’re feeling and not judging themselves for having human emotions.
Second, let’s talk about the part that I think is the real mind trick.
In our guided meditation, our instructor then asks us to see if we can shift our feeling slowly into “great interest, great curiosity” as best we can without rushing.
The reason I think this is the mind trick is because, with practice, being able to slowly transform any feeling from where it was into curiosity is incredibly powerful. I can’t tell you how many times experts, books, and media say that coming from a place of curiosity is just generally good foundation to start from with anything from arguments to new hobbies. But no one tells you how to get to curiosity when you are feeling anything but. I’ve also found that when I start from a state of curiosity, I also have more choice in how I want to engage and respond. My brain isn’t locked up in reactive behavior and survival-entrained loops.
(Photo credit: Leon-Pascal Janjic)
I’ve never watched my brain (with my gentle directive, of course) convert a feeling into another feeling on purpose. I’ve practiced noticing how I’m feeling. I’ve focused on how I want to feel and done things to help me get there. But never have I had my brain go from one to the other without there being a direct cause-effect dynamic that brought it from where it was to where I’d like it to be. I’ve never created the transition out of nothing or doing nothing. Watching it happen is like experiencing my brain doing mental Tai chi.
It’s bonkers. It still trips me out. I haven’t replicated this yet in real life but I’m already imagining what life will be when it starts permeating into my regular life naturally from all the practice.
In my next entry, I’ll talk about the Jedi mind tricks of pinpoint focus (with an ADHD brain), the state of No Mind, nervous system resets, and self-acceptance… among other things.
Stay tuned!